Today marks 15 days until my jaw surgery. Fifteen days. Just saying that out loud makes my heart skip a beat.
If I’m honest… I’ve been feeling a little emotional. I’ve cried. I’ve prayed. Sometimes both at the same time. My feelings have been all over the place, and I don’t even have a clear explanation for it. It’s just there. That weight. That swirl of thoughts and emotions—some anxious, some hopeful, some just… tired.
And you know what? I’m learning to let myself feel it. All of it. Not run from it. Not explain it away. Just feel. Whatever that emotion may be. Sometimes it’s peace. Other times it’s worry. Sometimes it’s joy just from sitting still in silence. Other times it’s guilt for doing nothing at all. But I’m realizing it’s okay to feel. Sometimes that’s the strongest thing you can do—feel and be present with what’s inside.
This morning, I thought about doing some Walmart deliveries to make a little extra cash. Lord knows I could use it right now. But I’m tired. It’s hot outside. And if I’m being real, I’m a natural homebody. My body wants rest. My soul wants quiet. My mind? It’s still trying to hustle. Still looking for ways to make ends meet. But my energy isn’t matching that desire today, and I’m giving myself permission to accept that.
I dropped the baby off at daycare and spent some time sitting with my parents. Those little pockets of quiet time are rare and precious. I came home, paid a couple of bills, and sat in silence for a minute. I’ve been meaning to start prepping my post-surgery liquid meals, but I might wait until the weekend. I need to double-check my ingredients anyway. And let’s be real—the way my pockets are set up lately, I may need to make some substitutions. It’s been one of those “stretch every dollar” months. A scraping by and still trying to smile kind of month.
But even in that, God has provided. Somehow, some way, I’ve had just enough. Daily bread kind of provision. Not too much, not too little—just enough. And that’s how I know He’s carrying me. Even now. Even when I feel unsure. Even when I want to be strong but all I feel is sensitive.
This upcoming jaw surgery feels like the physical manifestation of everything I’ve been walking through emotionally—pain, discomfort, realignment, healing. It’s not just about fixing my bite or my smile. It’s about allowing myself to be transformed in more ways than one. It’s about trusting the process, even when it’s hard. It’s about surrender.
So today, I’m giving myself grace. To rest. To cry. To breathe. To feel. And to believe that healing—true healing—doesn’t just start on the operating table. It starts in the heart.
If you’re reading this and you’re in a season that feels heavy or uncertain, just know: you’re not alone. You don’t have to explain it all. You don’t have to have it all together. Just feel. And let God meet you there.
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15 days to go. Braced in faith, trusting in grace.
#JawSurgeryJourney #FaithThroughHealing #RealMomMoments #BracedInFaith
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