Hey friends,
It’s been a little while since I last posted. I’ve been in a season where I’ve needed to pull back and really focus on getting my health right—physically, mentally, and spiritually. Lately, I’ve been more intentional about eating better, eating more, staying on top of my vitamins, and drinking water like it’s my job. Little by little, I’m trying to give my body the love and attention it needs.
I’ve also been spending more time in the Word. Preparing for surgery isn’t just about packing a bag or scheduling the date—it’s about being mentally and spiritually equipped, too. The Word has truly been my anchor through this process. I’ve found so much peace in quiet moments with God. He keeps reminding me that He’s already gone before me.
I’ll be honest though—there was a moment recently when I started thinking about pushing the surgery back. The idea of having more time to save money, to “get everything in order,” felt like a good enough reason… but deep down, I knew I was just stalling. Fear was creeping in and masking itself as logic. But after praying and reflecting, I realized: the time is now. Delaying it won’t make me any more ready. I have to trust that if God brought me to this moment, He’ll bring me through it.
That said—I still haven’t started prepping my recovery meals. 😅 Some of it is because I’m waiting on my food benefits, which don’t come in until July 8th. (Side note: if they hadn’t been stolen earlier this month, I’d be way ahead by now!) But if I’m being real, most of the delay is just procrastination. I’ve noticed that pattern in myself a lot lately. Procrastination has been one of the biggest things holding me back—not just from tasks, but from growth. It’s something I’m determined to work on and surrender to God.
Last Thursday was a bit of a whirlwind. I had to pick my daughter up early from daycare because they said she had a fever and loose stools. Naturally, I panicked and rushed to make her a doctor’s appointment. But when I got her to my parents’ house, her temp was normal, and she was smiling and playing like nothing was wrong. The doctor said she was perfectly fine. These daycares, I tell you—they keep you on your toes! But I’m thankful I had the flexibility to go get her without hesitation. That’s a blessing I don’t take for granted.
Now, back to surgery. I had a call with my anesthesiologist on Friday and was given all my pre-op instructions. To my surprise, I found out that my jaw surgery is going to be outpatient. I was floored! At first, it made me even more nervous, but after doing some research, I learned that outpatient jaw surgery is more common than I thought. That helped calm my nerves a bit—I was really about to spiral for a minute there. 😅
But here’s the beautiful part: I’m not as anxious anymore. Yes, I still have my moments, but overall, I feel more optimistic. I can see now how much my anxiety had been affecting me. I was having full-on panic attacks that drained me mentally and physically. But I feel like God has been gently walking me out of that. He’s been shifting my mindset. And the closer I get to surgery day, the more I realize that this is all part of the journey He has me on.
So, even though I haven’t been blogging as much, I’ve been doing the inner work. I’m preparing my heart, my body, and my mind. I’m choosing faith over fear, and I’m trusting that God is already in my tomorrow.
Thank you for being on this journey with me. Surgery is coming up fast, and I’m holding tight to the promise that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).
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